It’s a kind of permanent yearning, but it also gives me the energy to keep aiming for an ever-moving goalpost.’ I told her about the day I had seen the chamois and realised that real beauty lies in being not becoming. It had made perfect sense in the wilderness, but I now saw that in civilisation everything was about comparison. Well, it’s just that the wilderness makes me feel alive,’ ... ‘I would like to try it, to see if I can survive, to see if it transforms my mind and my body,’ (c) If I looked into the heart of nature’s rhythms, I could see that sacrifice was part of its cycle. All around me, I was aware of a sweeping power that had the ability to destroy living creatures so casually, but with the same movement could also create profoundly. I saw that same energy in the vast landscape around us. (c) Somehow I had forgotten what I looked like, because Peter’s face had become more familiar to me than my own. Miriam and Peter have ample time to reflect on existential issues such as the meaning of life and death, nature of relationships, fear, loneliness and uncertainty. And, of course, how the biodiversity of the natural world informs human existence. I quite enjoyed reading their reflections and ruminations simply because they resonated with me. Peter is deep and mystical (like David Attenborough?) and has the capacity to express himself. His take on life flows in a lyrical fashion. Each time, Miriam is blown away and rushes to capture his every word.

Don't get me wrong, I couldn't live how they lived, but getting through the book was really painful at times. It felt judgemental and condescending towards people who don't have the luxury of giving up everything for the wilderness. It was as if heaven had pulled away from the earth and created a space in which everything was still, serene and complete. (c)But how will you shower? ... Oh no, you have to come out once a month! At least when you have your period, surely! (c) Ugh, I have no idea how people managed to make it when there were no facilities or modern sanitary stuffs. De cover is precies zoals Miriam op jacht ging. Ze leefden voornamelijk van de dieren, die toch maar gedood worden zonder ze op te eten, omdat Nieuw-Zeeland de dieren van vroeger zonder menselijke inbreng terug willen. Miriam and Peter often use the word “trapped” to describe how other people live. They never intend to have children and rely on another modern innovation – Miriam’s IUD – to make sure they don’t. They say it would be impossible to live in the wild with kids. So are kids a trap? “For us it would be a trap,” says Miriam. “You have to have a regular income. You have to settle down.” She laughs: “It scares me just thinking about it.” Miriam describes how men they do meet on their travels will often suddenly open up about their personal lives: “They say they wish their wives would come out hunting with them or if they had a choice again, they would never have children. That was the end of their freedom, they say.” Men we meet say if they had a choice again, they would never have children. That was the end of their freedom, they say

During the cold winter months, I mastered the art of lighting a fire, and I had come to love our joyous companion; the fire was a kind of living being that always rekindled my spirits. ... It had taught me its main principles: it always needs space and air. And, once a fire is burning well, it detests being disturbed in its heart. Fire and human beings have a lot in common that way. (c) I looked at the crystal clear water, which cascaded down from the mountains. Yet after my initial elation, an uncomfortable feeling was creeping to the surface, a kind of realisation that sent a flash of panic through my body. It was the one thought that clashed with all my fantasies of living peacefully in the wilderness: the ‘what now?’ thought. What was I going to do next? When they do bump into another person in the wild it’s usually a hunter, and always a man. She thinks that perhaps women have lost their connection with nature, “even more than men. And also,” she adds, passionately, “why do women behave so weakly, physically? As in, ‘I can’t lift that,’ ‘I can’t shit outside,’ ‘I can’t have my period in the bush.’” She thinks it’s a shame women are missing out. A timeless land protected by ancient rhythms, where humanity is obsolete and control pointless. A land in which the forest is a guardian and fire our closest friend, the wind a bringer of change and the sun our salvation. Mist hung in the tops of the trees, keeping the outside world out. The mountain guarded its tall trees, and any sound suddenly felt like sacrilege. Between the ancient trees grew little sky-blue mushrooms—thousands of them. Their perfect shape and colour turned the forest into a magical place. (c)

About this book

and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, in which she is to be nourished for 1,260 days. While looking at its eyes, I understood that beauty does not come through becoming, but only with being. The chamois was not working towards a better version of itself; it just lived. I, on the other hand, was always trying to become nicer, better, stronger, smarter and prettier, which caused me to lose my authentic self. I understood that the process of becoming disfigured my being. This chamois showed me, in that moment, that being is the most beautiful form of existence. The sun sank silently behind the mountain, leaving a last red glow along the tops of the mountains. (c) Gah. Still recovering from this book which is very incoherently written and left me very irritated at the woman in wilderness.

De bieb heeft dit boek gecategoriseerd als 'Nieuw Zeeland'. Begrijpelijk, maar ook niet helemaal. Ik vind het ook een spiritueel boek. Lancewood beschrijft op de eerste plaats een reis naar zichzelf. Hoe meer ze inpassen in de natuur, hoe meer moeite ze hebben met aanpassen aan de huidige samenleving. When the wild horses saw us, they fled like wary deer. Their long manes and tails flew up in the air as they galloped at full speed inland. It was a remarkable sight. Horses are naturally very elegant, but these wild ones were indescribably magnificent. These free horses almost felt like a gift from Ninety Mile Beach. (c) Don’t write it down. … See it for yourself. Words are meaningless compared to direct experience.’ (с) I realised that my experience of nature had begun to change. I was tuned in to the rhythm of the forest, river and mountains. Beauty had become more apparent and intense. When I looked at the mountains, I saw not only their outward shapes, but also colours and moods. And slowly, over the weeks and months, I smelled the subtle breeze, the perfume of the forest and the approaching rain. I noticed changing clouds and delicate colours in the sky. (c)I went round excitedly telling everyone about this story, expecting them to be instantly enchanted with it like I was… and they were SO NOT IMPRESSED. The woman fled into the wilderness, where she had a place prepared by God, to be nourished there for 1,260 days. As I drove home, I felt euphoric. My heart was bursting with energy, and I smiled all the way. School was out. I had plenty of savings in the bank, I had New Zealand residency, and I had the freedom to live wherever I wanted. (c) To top it all off, I found it very hypocritical to keep looking down on modern comforts yet keep enjoying them too and being in an "idea of wilderness" where she hunts and roughs it out like cave men.

And the woman fled to the wilderness, where she had a place prepared by God where she would And the woman fled into the wilderness where she had a place prepared by God, so that there she might be nourished for one thousand two hundred and sixty days. In a way, rivers are kinds of beings too,’ he said. ‘Lakes and pools are calm, the river is busy, the ocean endless, yet they are all of the same essence. Water is a symbol of the eternal.’I had the impression that she was studying our sounds, habits and patterns, as if she was some kind of weka anthropologist studying human-ape behaviour In dit boek beschrijft Miriam vooral haar problemen met de jacht en het weer. Ze gaat niet echt in op de emotionele kanten van de isolatie en hoe dit voor je relatie is. Wel noemt ze eenmalig de angst om niks te doen en om alleen te zijn. Op een gegeven moment komt ze een gepensioneerde meneer tegen die vertelt hoe hij altijd is geleefd door zijn werk en gezin. Dat is precies waarom Peter de wildernis in wou en het zet je toch aan het denken. Het is verder vooral een avonturenverhaal met weinig diepgang en op een gegeven moment veel van hetzelfde maar dan op een andere plaats. Aan de andere kant is het juist fijn dat ze de praktijk laat zien en niet theoretisch doordraaft over hun motieven. Peter turned round and put my arms over his shoulders. ‘Now it’s just us,’ he said, embracing me. I took a deep breath. ‘I feel like we have finally come home.’ Peter nodded. ‘This is the world we were all born into.’ Then the woman fled into the wilderness where she had a place prepared by God, so that there she would be nourished for one thousand two hundred and sixty days.