Understand the ups and downs of the past relationships, because it is important to know what it is you’re getting yourself into.

Romatic Marriage, який прийшов на зміну меркантильному погляду, для якого достатньо лише відчувати прекрасні емоції та любов. And here comes the plot twist. It’s very possible that we marry the wrong people because the right ones feel wrong — undeserved. All couples must understand that the most important part of life is being happy and loving yourself so you can love someone else and be able to receive love from your partner. Take things one step at a time and make sure that you are as happy as possible before thinking about things further ahead. 10) You’ll learn to be yourselfBuku ini dibuka dengan bagaimana manusia zaman sekarang masih "terjebak" dalam imaji "Marriage of Romance." Bahwa pernikahan itu terjadi karena perasaan saling suka (saja). Pokoknya hatiku bergetar & detak jantungku semakin cepat kalau ada dia (mirip lagunya Dewa19). Konstruksi seperti itu menjadi perangkap. How do such errors happen in our enlightened, knowledge-rich times? We can say straight off that they occur with appalling ease and regularity. Academic achievement and career success seem to provide no vaccines. It is our responsibility to take care of our needs and wants, and it’s no one else’s job to do it for us. Whether or not you’re currently in a relationship, it’s important that you know what it is that makes you happy, and what it is that will bring you the most joy and peace in your life.

that every human will frustrate, anger, annoy, madden and disappoint us—and we will (without any malice) do the same to them. There can be no end to our sense of emptiness and incompleteness. But none of this is unusual or grounds for divorce. Choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we would most like to sacrifice ourselves for. This has been the second book from "The School of Life" I'd read (The Great Thinkers being the other). I must say that I very much like the accessibility and style with which their books, including this one, are put together.It boils down to this — we must make an effort to make it work, but to expect someone to fill our every need and satisfy us on every possible level will lead to getting disappointed for sure. 5) You’ll learn to be happy on your own Short analysis of the reasons and possible solutions around the selection of a life partner which ultimately, quite often, was not really made with the long-lasting marriage in mind. If either of you has been in serious relationships in the past, it is important to know what kind of things you’re ready to give and/or take. In the age of the marriage of reason, one might have considered the following criteria when marrying: We have a desperate and fateful urge to try to make nice things permanent. We want to own the car we like, we want to live in the country we enjoyed as a tourist. And we want to marry the person we are having a terrific time with.

And don’t think that you’re always going to find your perfect Mr./Ms. 4) You’ll realize that spousal expectations are often unrealistic Don’t expect someone to come into your life and answer all of these questions for you right away. Instead, be patient and allow a relationship to develop at a comfortable pace. If you find yourself complaining about a lot of things in your relationship, then it’s time to make an effort to find out what it is that makes you happy and why your marriage isn’t working out. Once upon a time, I met the person I’d been asking the universe for. We even met in the exact way I would have wanted to.It’s easy to keep our character flaws covered up when we aren’t living in the most intimate covenant relationship on earth — marriage. When we are dating, we put our best foot forward and work to cover up our wounds. But married life has a way of exposing us. Our spouse suddenly has the ability to make our flaws and struggles appear. And we don’t like it. I know I sure didn’t like it. This culture lead people to marry for the wrong reasons. To obtain something that was artificially restricted in society as a whole. 5. Instinct Has Too Much Prestige Perhaps you will learn to recognize the people who are selfish and not ready to give love but also have enough confidence to ask for the love you want and be able to trust them with your life if necessary. Orang-orang seperti poin 1 (bisa jadi kita, pasangan kita, atau keduanya) kemudian bertemu dan menjalani hubungan cinta. Pada bab-bab terakhir juga dibahas bagaimana pengaruh novel atau cerita fiksi romantis dalam kehidupan percintaan manusia --sadar atau tanpa mereka sadari.

However, this is an important lesson and can help us develop compassion for others, which will then allow us more happiness in our lives. My point is this — by making an effort to be happy when we are alone, we will enjoy more when we are with someone.

6) You’ll learn to forgive

If you’re in a relationship that only makes you feel unhappy and depressed, then this is the time to set yourself free and learn who it is that you really are and what it is that makes you happy. Love is something that is hard to find and when most people find it, they don’t know what to do with it. In Alain de Botton’s “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person”, he discusses how people find relationships depending on the types of relationships people have as children. This is different from the beliefs of Marguerite Fields, who believes the typical idea of love and marriage, which is that two strangers can meet and fall in love and have a ‘happily ever after’. Because De Botton thinks that familiarity is mainly what we seek in relationships, he would probably agree with most of Fields’ points about love. However, he seems to have a strong opinion about marriage and why he believes it’s wrong, which might make him reject Fields' quest for …show more content… This is sometimes easier said than done, but as long as you make an effort, you will surely do a lot more of forgiving yourself later on in life. After just a few weeks of counseling, I began to realize that my flaws weren’t the only source of our marital stress; Greg brought his own baggage into our marriage as well. He brought his own imperfections into our marriage. As I began to understand who I was and what I brought to the relationship, Greg also began to understand who he was and what he brought to the relationship. Counseling proved to be the scariest and the greatest thing for me. Greg and I had to throw out the notion that marriage was always going to be as magical as Disneyland. We made peace with the reality that there would be Main Street, U.S.A. moments in our relationship. Still other times we could expect to feel like we were on the Matterhorn Bobsleds — hanging on for dear life.