Readers who do not prepare for and complete the dates are unlikely to enjoy Eight Dates. Conclusion Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.

Welcome to life as the boyfriend of a dating coach. We’ve been dating for the past four years, so he’s used to serving as my guinea pig, helping me test relationship advice and the latest research before I make recommendations to my clients.We we did:The book suggested meeting somewhere with a beautiful, aspirational view. We went to Scott’s office building over the weekend and took the elevator to the 37th floor. Looking out over the Bay Bridge, we answered questions about our dreams. Then you should hire a curriculum expert (teacher) or project manager to create a schedule to properly scale the assignments leading up to the dates (that’s if one of you isn’t a teacher or pm). At first, I felt nervous about having these candid conversations in such a structured, formal way, but once we shared our lists, I was more comfortable. We took turns answering trust-related questions like "How do you define trust?" and "Can you tell me about a time you didn't trust me and how I could have resolved that situation?" The big secret to creating a love that lasts and grows over time is simple,” write the authors of “Eight Dates” early in the book. “Make dedicated, non­negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner. Don’t assume you know who they are today, just because you went to bed with them the night before. In short, never stop asking questions.” During this conversation, you’ll discuss what family means to each of you. If you haven’t yet had children, will you? How many kids do you want? How were the family dynamics when you grew up?

John Gottman, PhD, is a world-renowned psychologist, best-selling author, researcher, and expert on marital and parent-child relationships. He co-founded the Gottman Institute with his wife, Julie. Eighty-percent of married couples have sex at least a few times a month. Of those, 32% have sex 2 to 3 times a week. The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics.Amazing things happen in relationships when a couple can change and grow and accommodate the growth of the other person,” write the authors of “Eight Dates.” It’s as simple as this: “when you create meaning out of the struggles you face together, you stay together.” Try to achieve this by discussing each other’s growth several times a year, and by creating shared rituals of sacredness. Be humble and curious: whatever your partner’s idea about what growth and spirituality are, you’re there to understand and accept it, and not to prove that your ways are the right ones. Date No. 8: A lifetime of love – dreams They said when couples are considering marriage, they are often so fond of each other that they assume the other person wants the same things in life as they do. Their optimism convinces them there’s no reason to talk explicitly about decisions like where to live or if they want children. Unfortunately, by the time they discover their incompatibility on some of these fundamental values, they’re already married.